Over nine months have passed since the last post here. Nine months. No, I've not been pregnant. Not even with ideas. There were moments when... well...
There were moments when I came close to a post. But moments, they pass. Fleeting moments like CILIP eating itself, CILIP not eating itself, and the rest. I think we've all had our fill of eating CILIP. It leaves a nasty taste. Enough of that. I raise a toast to CILIP for at last joining us at the table, though I'm afraid there's nothing left but cheese and biscuits.
Not a Library (anymore)
Don't get me wrong. Cheese and biscuits is/are lovely. But, well, you get the metaphor.
I thought about maybe talking about what I've been up to at work, now that I've finally settled down into a state of permanence. Or how I got to that point. There's a draft post from last August. I might yet finish it off. We'll see. But I didn't at the time because I was too busy juggling the universe.
Then I was going to blog about spreadsheets, but I realised that I'd already said everything I was planning to say in previous posts. So in the end I didn't.
And, then New Year came, and I usually impress you all with some meaningless statistics, but Twitter took two months to get my tweet logs to me, and I don't have a record of my browsing habits anymore, and anyway, it's all just an excuse to postpone the inevitable demise of this blog: all just a ruse to keep the numbers up.
Token graph of all my tweeting ever. See also here and here.
Wait - did I just use the words "inevitable demise"? Yeah, sorry, I've a feeling I did. Well, let's not rush to the gallows just yet, eh. As the graph up there shows, I tweet even more than ever, and that is
partly a function of my blogging less. The two are not unrelated. But there's more at play.
In 2013, Google killed Google Reader: the most-read feed reader on the internet. RSS feeds had revolutionised the way in which I engaged with the web. They almost killed the browser bookmark. And then, for some reason, Google rid itself of this interminable feed. I still use a reader (Feedly), and get a massive amount of my web content through it, but not as much as I did. Not as much because one by one the feeds are running dry. There's still an impressive stream, but it was once a mighty river.
There's another aspect to this equation. This is not all Google's fault, by any means. A fire will burn itself out if you do not continually add fuel, and fuel takes the form not only of blog posts but also of blogs. This blog was born of Library School, and so were the blogs I followed: the blogs of my fellow students. As we all graduated, got jobs, hobbies, new relatives, and other demands for our time and energy, so the pitter of tiny keys became decreasingly heard. For a time I was fully switched on enough to keep adding more blogs to the fire, as new Library Scholars sashayed into Twitter with their exciting ideas. But blogging is old tech, designed to be distributed through a mechanism that, as a consequence of certain machinations, is no-longer straightforward. Maybe all the big ideas are happening elsewhere, and I'm missing them, or maybe they're happening right here and I'm still missing them. I'm not sure.
On top of all of this, there's what I shall call 'Library Camp Fatigue', for want of a nicer term. A few years ago, my generation of library types stumbled upon the Library Camp: a talking shop for sharing exciting ideas and/or moaning about idiotic ones. There were Library Camps everywhere. They were like free festivals for cake-fetishists. It was amazing. But after a while, I think we got in a rut... talking the same old talk... watching, helplessly, as the fabric of our profession got destroyed. This generation - the tweeting, Library Camping, blogging generation - with fire in our eyes and cake in our bellies - we got tired. Or we got jobs. Or we lost jobs. Or we had better things to do, like fight to keep our jobs, or have a nice quiet weekend after a busy week of doing our jobs. In short, we got old: we weren't students and new professionals anymore. We had other things to do. Some of the greatest bloggers of my generation are too busy looking after the kids/cats and working on home improvements to spend time pissing into the echo chamber. And that is Absolutely Fine. It's my defence too.
This blog is only four and a half years old. It's been a long four and a half years... An eventful four and a half years. Much has changed in that time. Blimey, much has changed. And I'm not packing up just yet. But perhaps I need to refocus a little. And perhaps I need to go away and finish that post I started last August.
And maybe I need to try harder to find the thoughts of the next wave of Library minds too. But first there's some cheese and biscuits to polish off.
So this is New Year's Eve, and what have I done? Another year over, in which I made nine 'blog posts (eight if you ignore this one) - half the number of last year's tally. What's gone wrong? Is the 'blog dead??
The first two posts of the year were my usual navel-gazing stat-counts. I followed this up with a post about Excel functions. Then in March I had a spring-clean and the site got a new name. I claimed in that post that the next job would be to sort out my increasingly creaky website, which has sat pretty-much dormant for the last two and a half years (coincidentally the same amount of time I've been in a proper full-time job since I graduated, all those moons ago... what are the odds??). I have not lived up to this claim: I have done nothing to the site.
What did I do instead? In April I unleashed my Excel version of 2048 upon an unsuspecting world. I count this among the year's greatest achievements. In May I put up a PowerPoint slide (again, more showing off disguised as a helpful hint), then in July I did another Excel-related post, showing how to build your own spreadsheet version of usvsth3m's Fight! tool. This is what I had become.
Then, to prove I still had some connection to libraries, I had a good moan about CILIP (as is tradition). And that, ladies and mesters, was the last peep for five months.
This is the point where I should excuse my laxity by announcing that I've been writing a novel. But I've not added anything to that since March. Alas, the first half of the year was rather taken up with job applications, and (family aside) nothing destroys free time quite so much as those things. Free time and creative spirit.
By the time that job app season was over, I was hard at work at work on various website and spreadsheet related gadgets, and the thought of carrying that stuff over into my leisure time didn't exactly appeal. So I watched a load of Doctor Who, listened to a lot of podcasts and generally vegged out for a bit. Frankly, I needed a rest.
I interrupted my resting for two Library Camps in the back end of this year (one in Leeds, and the national one in Newcastle), both of which were fun, and neither of which I wrote up (though I did do some live tweeting). Likewise, where's my entertaining spin on Sieghart? I could've had you rolling in the stacks with that one, I'm sure! But I didn't. Mainly because I felt I'd be rehearsing old posts (in much the same way that Sieghart said nothing very new). I didn't want to add to the water-treading... it would just have become a tedious tirade against lazy journalists, and given how much I've failed to write this year, my house is too well glazed for stones like that.
The 'blog isn't dead, though. It's just resting. And while it rests, I'm still twittering away like nobody's business.
Or am I...
Let's take a look at the evidence!
Total tweet tally for 2014: 6,000 (up from 3,787 in 2013). That's an average of 16 tweets a day (up six on last year).
5 RTs per day (up three) and 6 @s (up two). One contains the wordstem "libr*". Pulling that data out to a week, we get a table like this one:
2012
2013
2014
Tweets/week
43
73
115
@s
21 (49%)
29 (39%)
40 (34%)
RTs
8 (18%)
17 (24%)
35 (30%)
libr*
3 (8%)
4 (6%)
9 (8%)
My proportion of @s is down slightly. My RTs are up by roughly the same margin, and my library tweeting has more than doubled in real terms. Well that's probably something at least?
Enough waffle. Let's cut to the word cloud!
When I'm not retweeting, I seem to be talking to @greebstreebling an awful lot, and the presence of @r4isstatic, @JMFrankland and @GrevilleTombs puts the brunt of that chatter at several Sundays spent watching Doctor Who on UKTV Drama. Had @ned_potter not changed his twitter handle mid-year (obviously inspired by my own rebranding), he would be up there too, proving that I'm more likely to tweet to someone than to shout across the office.
Library is down there in the bottom right, smaller than last year, and about the same size as Eurovision and Strictly. There's also a Libraries above @Girlinthe's head. The popularity of amp is actually due to my use of the ampersand, but I can see I've been getting to have the odd bit of a think now and then. This wordcloud doesn't include any tweets I've done this evening, but I doubt they'd alter things too drastically.
Peak tweeting this year was in July when I clocked in 712 (23 tweets a day), in part the result of me live-tweeting the Commonwealth Games opening ceremony (an evening I had completely forgotten about until I did the research just now), partly also #UHMLG14. My twittering low came in April, when I only managed 228 tweets (8 per day), presumably because I had better things to do.
So that's the story of my 2014... a story of better things to do, and of a greater variety of things to say when I do say them. Next year I hope to keep that up, while still having more things to offer here than tweet counts. Let's see how it goes.
I hope 2015 is very very lovely to you and that you thoroughly enjoy your time in it! See you later!
Since the late 1990s I've been making things under the moniker A/V Woman, most obviously my website, which itself is old enough to make babies. So here's one.
When I first dabbled with twitter I used the name @KingConstance by way of an OED-inspired, Sarah Grand-related pun. When I started tweeting about libraries I created a new twitter account: @SaintEvelin : it's a title/name form that riffs on the @KingConstance account (the avatar nods that way too) while also being a tenuous pun on my first names. I suspect, too, that @AVWoman was being used by someone at the time, though maybe I'm making that up. Maybe I just wanted a further separation there.
At the same time as setting up @SaintEvelin, I set up the Succentorship without Sneers 'blog: http://saintevelin.blogspot.co.uk/ (this 'blog, essentially). Both have served me very nicely, I'd like to think.
But I've tired of late of the SaintEvelin pun, not least because I'm not called Evelin. I'm also wanting to do something more with my website (I'm not entirely sure quite what of yet, but that's something to look forward to). And I'm feeling that A/V Woman is a perfectly good alias for a technologically minded librarian to hide behind. I've been a bit quiet recently, both on here and to a certain extent on twitter too, so now seems as good a moment as any to put the swap into action.
I made the twitter-switch at tea-time yesterday. Most twitter platforms these days make more play of the screen name than the handle, so switching handles isn't as obvious as it used to be. This has its pros and cons, but I think for the most part the avi and the screen name carry the brunt. In the interests of consistency I won't be swapping these. Not at the moment, anyway. I can cause more confusion in the long term this way!
Twitter is very good at handling a handle switch. Continuity is pretty seamless. The biggest drawback is if you cold-call me on my old moniker, but see the previous paragraph. I think I'm the last person left who tweets by text message. But I'm determined not to miss any messages. To account for this I've set up a holding account on my old handle. In a month I'll switch it to some other use, but in the meantime it's a neat way of occupying the void (it also staves off any would-be scavenger, keen to don my shedded skin to the further confusion of all involved). Later I'll still mop up the off-chance with a tweetdeck search column.
Then there's the 'blog. I could've just swapped the domain over from saintevelin.blogspot to avwoman.blogspot, but again I'm concerned about continuity. And in this case continuity is all the more important: I must've made it to someone's news feed, and I know there are one or two links to my 'blog from hither and thither. I don't want to lay waste to such connections. So I've trod a little more carefully in that regard.
So it is that this tabula rasa at avwoman.blogspot.co.uk is not as violent as it might have been. The old posts are still there at the old address, and the search box in the side panel will lead you back into its depths. More importantly, I'm posting this entry (and any that might follow) to the Succentorship without Sneers RSS and Atom feeds. So while this post is the first at the avwoman domain, and sits on a different page to my previous posts, the newsfeed remains a continuity of service. I think that's important.
All this adventurous plumbing being done, it will be time for me to weld it all to the website, which is kind of the whole point. But I'm still a lot hazy on what might go there. Until then, my apologies to you all for the mucking about. I'm as bad as those Olay/Ulay people, I know.
4I last did an analysis of my tweeting back in May 2012, and before that in July 2011. Those posts took a thorough look at the content of my first 100 and first 1,000 tweets from the @SaintEvelin account. My tweet tally now exceeds the 6,700 mark, which is too many to go through by hand. Fortunately, there are ways to crunch the content, and so I will, looking specifically at my twitter activity through the course of 2013.
First of all, let's take a look at the volume of my tweeting this last year: 3787 tweets in all. On average I make ten tweets a day (up four from last year). Rounding as necessary, four of those tweets are @-led conversations, two are retweets, and one contains the word-stem libr*. The numbers round more reliably if we expand to a full week's twitter activity, so here we go:
2012
2013
Tweets/week
43
73
@s
21 (49%)
29 (39%)
RTs
8 (18%)
17 (24%)
libr*
3 (8%)
4 (6%)
So I'm tweeting more, conversing more, retweeting twice as much as last year, and tweeting without the words libr* about twice as much as last year. My use of the L-word is up by one tweet a week, but as a proportion of my output it is lower than in 2012.
Of course, it's not all about the L-word. If we include info* in the search, things go up by another tweet a week. Adding CILIP has the same effect, putting us at six library-y tweetings in seven days. This by no means tells the whole story, so let's add another one for luck. This puts us a little more honestly at the rounded-up figure of a library tweet a day. Let's call it a tenth of my twitter output. That sounds a fair proportion really. At the 1,000 tweets mark it was about a third, so there may be more to this story. Applying the same criteria to 2012 as to 2013 I'm up by a percent or so.
To get a more accurate view of what I tweet about, we can employ a word cloud. Here's one I made earlier:
The RT is for scale. We already know that that's about a quarter of my twittering. I also say "just" quite a lot, don't I just? Looking around the edges I note that I tweeted about Strictly Come Dancing more than I did about the Great British Bake-Off, which is entirely right and proper. But I think the real story can be found at the top of the nebula, with the inspirational legend: NOW EUROVISION LIBRARY! Nice to note that library is the biggest noun in there. I may mention libraries less than once a day, but I seem to mention them more than I mention other things. I think that's an appropriate balance, really.
I notice that York is bigger than (pretty) Hull. But cake is bigger than both. The words that appear all seem rather positive, so that's nice (top left, between great and lovely).
To wrap up, here's a chart depicting pretty much all my tweeting ever, including on my other twitter account. It doesn't include my tweets from @HullUni_Library. What it does do is show how @SaintEvelin, an account initially intended as a "professional" networky sort of thing, has become my main account for most of what I have to say, be it about libraries or about Strictly. My original @KingConstance account still trickles along, mainly as a vessel for my angrier tweets, and, when I remember, to continue the pretence of a medieval kingdom in South Yorkshire. But the original reasoning behind the schism: a sort of separation of church and state (social versus professional, if you will) has been disavowed. Tweetdeck, and the raising of the limit on the number of members in a twitter list, allow me to monitor various spheres of interest at once. What is more, the social aspect of tweeting is, I believe, a vital component of the networking aspect: all work and no play makes @Jack a dull tweeter. There's no need to carry on a split personality. Not with librarians at any rate. Cake is an essential part of the job.
My total number of tweets this year from both accounts was 4,369 (582 from @KingConstance). In 2012 it was 2,808 (573 from @KingConstance), so that's roughly a 150% increase in activity. In 2011 (the year I started tweeting as @SaintEvelin) it was 2,853 (2,178 of those from @KingConstance).
The peak in summer 2012 corresponds with library conferences and unconferences, and with me looking for a full-time job. The near-death of @KingConstance in the last quarter of that year corresponds with me finding a full-time job. There's activity on both accounts in January of this year when I was out of work, then things go quieter when I'm in work again. Funny that. May sees Eurovision, and my biggest spike of activity (127 tweets in one day). This is my third busiest day of tweeting to date (Eurovision 2011 clocked 139, and I made 189 tweets in October 2010 when I "live-tweeted" the historical activities of the Sheffield police force). Since July, my tweet-rate has been fairly constant at around the 12-tweets-a-day mark. BBC television may have some part to play in this.
So that's the twitter analysis for another year. I may have slightly exceeded the 140 character limit. My average tweet length is 92.
Write more; get involved; be more assertive; generally get stuck in...
At the risk of pre-empting the twitter conversation, here's how I think I did:
Write more...
This is my 18th post of 2013, compared with 21 posts in 2012, so I've not written more here. Have I written more elsewhere? I've not crunched the Twitter numbers, but I expect they're healthy. And I've got published in print without doing an awful lot, so that was nice. It's a start, and not too bad considering I've had two house-moves and two different full-time jobs this year to keep me busy. I think that's a fair excuse.
Get involved...
Not as many Library Camps this year as last, but I got to three. I also attended a Northern Collaboration event and the 50th birthday bash at Sheffield's library school. I'd call that treading water, really. I've maintained my presence in the library world. But I've been too busy settling in with new work colleagues to dedicate much time further afield. One thing I have done is taken more notice of matters CILIP, and I suspect I'm not alone in this regard (see previous posts). As a consequence of the whole name-change thing, I've voted in two CILIP plebiscites, and followed the coverage / live-streaming from two CILIP meetings. That's two more of both those things than I've done in previous years. I might even be tempted to get involved with something CILIP-y if there was anything CILIP-y to get involved with around here. Might. There are probably better causes to assist, and I do so enjoy my own time...
Be more assertive; generally get stuck in...
I'm sticking these two together because I see them as part of the same thing. It was that prize cock Steven Morrissey who, in one of his saner moments, sang "Shyness is nice but shyness can stop you from doing all the things in life you'd like to". I continue to be too wet for my own good, though now and again my bushel gets too hot and starts smoking, attracting some attention. I seem to get by on such smoke-signals, but my reticence remains an obstacle. I have to learn to be able to talk without the aid of half a bottle of wine. Writing's a different matter: I have time to develop my buzzing thoughts and overcome inhibitions. But my brain doesn't seem to cope so well at speaking-pace. Part of that's speed-of-thought, but most of it is a lack of confidence, or an unwillingness to chance my ability to wrangle my thoughts into some sensible utterances (which amounts to much the same thing). The more I get to know people, the more at ease I become, mostly, I think, because I better know how they work and what their reactions might be to whatever I end up saying. But this character judgement takes far too many months and in the meantime I suspect I end up looking aloof. This remains a frustration to me and I don't suspect there's a quick and easy way to overcome it short of plugging away bit by bit and learning that I'm perfectly capable of holding my own. I'm not sure I've made an awful lot of progress in this regard this year (a disastrous job interview didn't help my confidence any, either) but I just have to keep plugging away. Or pre-loading on gin (probably not the answer).
In conclusion, then, I've not really met these self-imposed objectives in any truly satisfactory way. I've been too busy hopping from one temporary job to another and trying to find a firmer foothold from which to preach. But at the same time it's not been an utter disaster. I don't think I've lost much if any ground, and so it is that they stand for another year. Here's hoping I'm in a better position to act on these resolutions in 2014.
Happy New Year, and may it be full to brimming with wonder and joy enough for us all!
It is my birthday today! Not my real birthday, but my official Saint's Day: it was a year ago today that I adopted the moniker @SaintEvelin, and began to embrace and become part of the online library community that had daunted me until that point. So it is that I have been attempting to succent without sneers for a whole twelve months, and in this 43rd blog post I shall gaze at my belly-button to see if the fluff therein has corresponded to the aims I set out in my first post, or whether, like Charles Foster Kane, I have diverged from my declared principles.
"This blog...will document my attempts to find my place in, and embrace firmly, the library community..."
Of the 42 posts prior to this one, 33 (79%) have been about libraries and/or my personal or professional development. This figure includes 16 posts devoted to the CPD23 project. Beyond this core, five posts have been about language or literature, and four posts have been concerned with that other great love of my life: fashion. I think this is a reasonable division. If one removes the crutch of CPD23, 65% (17) of my posts have been 'on-topic'.
"The title of this blog: "Succentorship without Sneers", describes (with pithiness and alliteration) my desire to balance a passion for libraries with an inherent suspicion of almost everything. This is not to say that an empirically minded doubt of all is a bad thing; it is demonstrably not. But I am a pessimistic soul at times and all too often place barriers that are unwarranted. This bloody-mindedness must stop. Thankfully I am an optimist at times too. This isn't a question of faith or doubt, but of genuine openness: of listening and considering things without taint of preconception. It's also about showing a bit of enthusiasm and not being such a miserable git: beyond any question of science or discrimination, there is a simple matter of attitude: I have to go out and get stuck in, rather than stay sitting here on my beautiful arse, waiting for the world to come knocking for my services."
Here's the nub of the blog. It's not just meant to be me sat here typing my thoughts about libraries. It's supposed to be me getting out and engaging with the profession; expanding my horizons and embracing new developments. I don't suppose it's helped that I've still not got myself a professional post: it doesn't encourage an awful lot of optimism and it leaves me with only so many new and exciting frontiers to explore. No surprise then that this blog has descended into the odd didactic rant now and again (I am still, it seems, "a cynical bitch"). But I've had three Library Camps to help inspire me along the way, and to have had a blog post referenced in print has been a particular honour: a real validation that I must be doing something right here. Above all, my new-found library friends both in the flesh and on Twitter have been invaluable in keeping me perky and engaged during the discouraging tedium of job-hunting. It really means a lot.
"I shall attempt to be honest both to myself and to my readership, whilst maintaining a reasonable modicum of diplomacy."
I do think I've broadly succeeded in this regard, though I think I need to do more reflection. I'm a timid creature, and I'm always a bit scared about how my attitudes and opinions are received by my peers (all too often I've snuck my posts out when nobody's looking). I need to be braver and I also need to be more honest and open. That said, it's hard to be fully open without breaking into distracting exhibitionism; there's always an element of fear in expressing oneself, and I suspect that there's a happy medium to be achieved somewhere between retention and extroversion. Locating this medium is something I find a considerable struggle in reality let alone online. I'm always concerned, for instance, that people find it irritating, weird or disturbing when I tweet about pretty clothes, just as I'm concerned that people find it irritating, weird or disturbing when I wear them. So it is that I try to limit my tweets on such topics and avoid allowing my every blog post to descend into some hand-wringing whinge about the social tribulations of a genderqueer librarian. As much as this aspect of my identity might impact upon my personality and my interaction with the world (and it is, for me, a genuinely big issue with which I'm constantly wrestling as I take these first steps in my career as a librarian), I endeavour to treat it as something unworthy of special attention or remark: to normalize it rather than to have this blog become dominated by that theme. I don't really want to find myself pigeon-holed in such a way. Perhaps this is the wrong approach to take. Perhaps it's unhelpful, or maybe even fundamentally dishonest. That's a big worry I have: that I mislead through omission and give an offensively false impression to my audience. I don't know. It seems a difficult balance to strike. I welcome any thoughts you might have on the matter (and on anything else I've had to say today).
Aims, then, for my second year? Be less timid, but not too ranty. Keep sharing my experiences and what I've learnt. Hopefully I'll be in a new job soon, and then I shall have a world of new learning to exploit, but there's still much I can write about even now (I'm currently working on some hopefully helpful tips for Excel, in response to a suggestion on Twitter). I feel I've come a fair way in the last twelve months: no longer am I a terrified and daunted newbie. I'm increasingly engaged with Twitter, and thanks to the Library Camps I'm starting to get to know people in real life too. It amuses me a little to think that just over a year ago I approached my first library conference with real dread, while now (thanks to the near-damascean conversion I had there, and the warmth and encouragement of the library community I've entered) I'm filled with excited anticipation for the CDG event in Birmingham next month. If you're going, I look forward to seeing you there, and whether you're going or not, I'd just like to take this opportunity to say:
I've been applying for jobs a lot this year, and the process of answering the same old questions on various different online application forms can become rather wearing. So I thought it would be strange relief to spend some time answering different, if equally probing questions about myself. There was a time, back before Facebook, when email was the principal means of communication, and when friends would annoy each other with forwarded circulars. One flavour of forward was the "get to know you" questionnaire, and I spent a good part of last night dredging up some examples from the internet and bolting them together. The result is the best part of 200 questions (I lost count too many times) designed to lay bare my very nature, and I have answered these questions, because I am daft like that. It is a fine example of "too much information", but it beats those evil drop-down menus that have been torturing me these the last few months.
What time did you start this bloody rigmarole?
I only found this question quite late in the process, so I can only give a vague answer of about 8pm last night. Most of the answers were written that evening. It is currently 15:12 the next day and I am making what I intend to be the penultimate pass through these questions before publication.
What time did you get up this morning?
About 10:33ish. The radio comes on at 10:28, and there was an interesting bit on Woman's Hour about parents complaining about what their kids are being taught. This dragged me from the grog of having been interrupted from a dream in which I met a cuckoo on the French coast who was a dead ringer for the one in the AA Book of British Birds. Back in the halcyon days of unemployment I would get up at about 3pm, assuming my body could break free of its sleep-paralysis. At the moment I just work afternoons, so I get a bit of a lie-in, which suits me nicely as the Earth's usually warmed up sufficiently by then.
Diamonds or Pearls?
As a good librarian I love me my pearls!
What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I think it was Senna at some horrible multiplex. I used to go to the pictures a lot in the early '00s, but then the local independent cinema changed hands and stopped showing anything interesting.
What is your favourite TV show?
As a child, The Adventure Game. As an adult, anything presented by Jonathan Meades.
Breakfast / lunch was a thick slice of granary bread and butter.
What do you usually have for breakfast?
That's my usual lunch. Sometimes I will go further and have a crisp sandwich. If I were getting up earlier I would normally have for breakfast a thin slice of bread with a small amount of butter. I would rather have a Bloody Mary and pain au chocolat, of course, but I'm normally not quite that decadent.
What is your middle name?
See the penultimate question.
What is your favourite cuisine?
I was not a lover of food in my youth, but recently my tastes have broadened. I'll have a Sri Lankan starter, an Italian main, and something Turkish for afters, please.
Indian or Italian cuisine?
This is the second of a number of binary questions, and as with most of them it rather disregards most of the options offered by the rest of the world. Still, as demonstrated in the previous answer, I do very much like Italian food.
What foods do you dislike?
Sprouts. Other things too, but none more than sprouts.
Brrr...
What makes you run late?
Constantly changing my mind about what I should wear. And the First bus company.
What X-Rays have you had?
I have pretty weird teeth: a naturally odd number of them, four of which are milk-teeth that had nothing beneath them. Consequently I went through a phase where I had my cheek irradiated twice a year. The same dentists later got into trouble for having done a lot of unnecessary x-rays and other extras on people, though in my case it was probably more justified than in some.
What are your favourite crisps?
Seabrook. They used to have such a wonderful range of flavours, though most of them have been discontinued. It's hard to pick a favourite, though Canadian Ham is pretty special.
What is your favourite type of music?
I like a broad range of stuff. I used to sell avant-garde and experimental music, I used to write and play spacey pop-rock, I've got a website dedicated to Eurovision, and most of what I listen to on Spotify is classical (mainly Verdi, Bach or Mahler). I am not so keen on lounge-jazz.
What is your favourite CD at the moment?
In the CD trivet on the hi-fi next to me are: two Christmas compilations, Deerhoof vs Evil, Mahler 2 and Mahler 6, while Heather Nova's Glow Stars is on the CD player I use when I'm in the bath. The last tape I listened to was a compilation of stuff. As for LPs, I tend to put them away when I've finished with them, and it's been a while since I had one on. I don't recall what it might have been. The last mp3 I played on my computer was "Wunderbar" by Sparks, while Spotify is currently playing "Bonnie & Clyde" by Bardot and Gainsbourg. Adam and Joe are mid-way through a show on the mp3 player of my telephone.
What kind of car do you drive?
I am driven in a Volvo bus.
In men/women what characteristic do you look for?
A shared passion, an inspirational character, understanding, and an expression that turns me to jelly.
What's you favourite sandwich?
Crisp.
What characteristics do you despise?
I'm quite easy-going, really. Thatcherites piss me off, obviously. But as far as the little things go, I'd probably have to say apostrophe-obsessiveness and lack of empathy.
Are you right or left handed?
Keggy, but only for one-handed stuff (e.g. writing, spoons).
What's your favourite item of clothing?
It changes with my tastes and mood. I'm still terribly fond of a soft and cosy purple polo-neck I've had since my first time at uni and which has kept me company through many a chilly autumn evening, and as a sucker for inter-war fashion I do love the flapper-y dress I wore for Children in Need last year.
Me and my favourite jumper back in 2008
when I appear to have been a one-legged zombie.
If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
This is a toughy... The world is a big place, and here I get a chance to go absolutely anywhere, public or private, accessible or not... I'd probably settle on some interesting piece of architecture somewhere, but I'd have to give some proper thought as to what.
Who are your favourite singers?
Callas and Corelli; Dusty, Brel, Freddie Mercury, Shirley Collins, Roy Orbison, Josephine Foster, Nico, Gina Birch, Mark E. Smith...
What colour is your bathroom?
Avocado.
What's your favourite brand of clothing?
I mostly shop at H&M, New Look and Dorothy Perkins, but then here in Sheffield we don't have an awful lot of choice in that regard.
To where would you want to retire?
My dreams.
What's your favourite time of day?
I like the time 11:11, but I am at my most creative after midnight so I shall say then.
What was your most memorable birthday?
It was a party in my early teens. I had planned a series of games, but two guests failed to appear, ruining the teams and the timing of the afternoon. Then one of the guests accidentally pulled down a shelf full of books in my bedroom. It was a disaster but it taught me never to rely too much on a plan because plans can all too easily unravel.
What goal do you have for yourself?
To be in charge of a special collection and to be myself.
What did you want to be when you were little?
I sense that this is a question regarding my career ambitions, which varied from week to week. Perhaps my earliest such ambition was to be Maggie Philbin, while Johnny Ball's career history made me briefly consider teaching. I once turned the study into a library, brandishing a rubber stamp beyond a prefabricated turnstile. But for most of my youth my chosen vocation was "rock star".
Look, she's even holding the Domesday Disc!
Who wouldn't aspire to this?
When is your birthday?
January.
What shampoo do you use?
Dove.
What soap do you use?
Coal tar.
How many weddings have you been in?
I had a principal supporting role in a wedding last year. Until then I had only observed.
When is your Anniversary?
I am not currently romantically involved.
Where were you born?
Sheffield.
What are your favourite sports to watch?
I enjoy watching curling.
What are your favourite sports to listen to?
Test Match Special is a magical thing.
What is your favourite saying?
All the world will be your enemy, Prince of a Thousand enemies. And when they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you...
What laundry detergent do you use?
I have no fixed brand, but I avoid Daz.
Coke or Pepsi?
I am addicted to Coke.
Gummi bears or jelly beans?
I was always rather fond of those fish things you get in boiled spice. And let us not forget kali.
Pizza or burger?
Pizza is perhaps my favourite foodstuff.
Gold or silver?
It always used to be silver, but I've been wearing a lot of browns lately so I seem to wear more gold these days.
Paper or plastic?
A curious pair. If we're talking baggage, I'll go with paper, though I suspect the toss-up actually refers to money where again my answer would be paper. So paper.
Do you have a hobby?
I have many many hobbies. I love to toy with maps: I've got a fantasy Sheffield on the go which seeks to marry together the grand unrealised schemes of old city centre masterplans and restores to being some of my favourite demolished buildings. Then there is my Domesday project for King Constance: scaled-up settlements based on populations given in the Domesday survey are plotted on a map of that part of England bound by York in the north and Derby in the south, with sea-level raised to five metres (the smallest increase possible based on standard Ordnance Survey mapping). The land is coloured according to the political makeup of council wards, with three or more adjacent wards of like politics creating a political entity on the map. It’s all rather silly and pointless, but good fun to make and curiously educational.
Here be councillors...
For about a decade I spent a good deal of my time playing Microprose's Grand Prix computer games, to the point that I had developed an alternate universe of teams, results, governing bodies and politics stretching as far as 2041. This last season was halted for a time when my old computer died, wiping out several races, and it took me a while to a) resolve a series of compatibility issues between my game and my new computer, and b) to have the heart to repeat half of what had been a particularly thrilling season. Then I went to university again, and my Grand Prix fantasy world remains poised on the verge of the 2042 pre-season testing period. Given that the real world of Formula One has become just about as silly as my made up one, it's probably best to let it catch up.
A brief phase of The Sims contaminated my life for a while, and I still play the odd bit of Sim City, and other games like Scrabble and Tetris, but recently I have returned to what remains one of the greatest wonders of computer game development: Elite.
I first played Elite on the Acorn Electron, with the quilt hammocked over me to make a spaceship, though I never really got to grips with the finer points of space trading. At uni, I played it on the Amiga, and in the mid '00s I played the old PC version and attained the status "Archangel". Now there is Oolite, a sprawling reworking supported by a community of enthusiasts producing a wealth of expansion packs to improve and expand the gameplay. It is really very good, and great swathes of my time disappear as I make my way from system to system. I always like to tinker with my computer games, and this is no exception. I have designed my own improved HUD, always give any new ship I buy a respray, and I'm currently working on a tweak to rationalise ship speeds with respect to their capacities. Invariably I do not merely play a computer game, I like to rewrite the entire universe and bend it to my will!
Lining up with a space-station in my Boa Class Cruiser.
Maps, computer games… what else do I do for fun? My website, not least my ongoing Eurovision project, for starters. Then there's the more conventional hobbies such as watching TV and films, reading, listening to music, walking, shopping… I have a strong interest in vintage fashion and spend far too much on clothes I will never get to wear. And on top of all this is my writing: principally my never-to-be-finished novel which feeds upon all these hobbies. If you're going to invest so much time creating an alternate universe of F1 or flying from planet to planet in Elite, you might as well put it to some use… Everything is absorbed into the never-to-be-finished novel which fundamentally still inhabits the same sprawling universe as my childhood fantasy games at infant school.
Do you always drive at the speed limit?
I wouldn't if I drove (too much time playing racing games on the computer, I suspect). Which is partly why I don't.
Do you type with all fingers or by the hunt and peck method?
All the fingers (though rarely the little ones).
Do you play a musical instrument?
Keyboard instruments; electric bass guitar; other guitars with considerably less proficiency.
What is your favourite holiday:
I'm rather fond of Easter.
How many cups of coffee do you drink a day?
On average, the answer lies between 0 and 1.
Are you a morning person or night owl?
Very much the night.
What size shoe do you wear?
My left foot is 6½, my right foot is 7½, and neither are terribly narrow. Consequently I tend to wear a 7 or an 8, dependent on availability as much as anything else.
How tall are you?
About 5'10", depending on posture.
Do you have any children?
I had a doll when I was little but I no longer remember its name.
What is your mother's name?
That's the sort of question my bank asks me.
Have you had any overnight hospital stays?
None since birth.
What is your favourite pet?
I miss my late dog terribly but would not want another. I love cats, but I fear they may return my love in much the same way that angora does.
What is your favourite animal?
Badger. Badger. Badger...
Any news you'd like to share with everyone?
I rather suspect this whole post is more than enough sharing!
What were you supposed to be doing today?
Looking for a new bag (I did much looking but no finding), going to work (tick), coming home and having some dinner (tick), working on a model to improve the realism of ship characteristics in Oolite (half a tick), cobbling together this post (tick), tidying up (cross).
What book are you currently reading?
Metroland by Julian Barnes.
How old are you today?
12,175 days.
What size bed do you sleep in?
Single, with double quilt.
What chore do you most hate?
Dusting surfaces that have lots of things on them.
What is an essential start to your day?
The faint warmth of the sun.
What is your favourite candy bar?
Fry's Turkish Delight.
What are your favourite childhood memories?
Crawling through the maze-like houses at Pets Corner; building a den in the back garden out of kitchen cabinets; handstands, elastic and bulldog in the school playground.
What are the different jobs you have had in your life?
I managed a record retailer for a bit, before it ran out of money, and I've done a bit of exam invigilation. Since then it's been libraries all the way.
How many years have you been at your current job?
Six and a half.
Do you enjoy your job?
I did, but it's getting a bit dull after six and a half years, and much of the variety that was brought into it early on by various special projects and stock moves has gone. I really want to get somewhere where I can put my MA to good use.
What colour shirt are you wearing?
I'm currently wearing a purple long-sleeve top.
What colour underwear are you wearing?
Pink.
What is your favourite colour?
It varies quite a bit. When I was little it was yellow. Nowadays I generally favour the pinky-purple side of things, as the above two questions testify.
What's your favourite flower?
Fuchsia.
My favourite flower sporting my favourite colours.
What is your favourite drink?
Water (specifically the stuff in my tap here at home). Also Ardbeg.
Do you have any nicknames?
For various reasons I've never been very comfortable with my given names, but I've never managed to find or have coined anything better. I do quite enjoy being an Evelin on here. Maybe I could get that to stick in real life too!
Do you have any piercings?
I currently have four piercings: two in each ear.
What was the last book you read?
Midnight Robber by Nalo Hopkinson.
What colour are your eyes?
Hazel.
Have you ever been to Africa?
No.
Have you ever been toilet papering?
No.
Have you ever been toilet papered?
No. But I have run out of toilet paper in the past. Fortunately I was in shared accomodation at the time.
Have you ever loved someone so much it made you cry?
Yes. I am a terrible crier.
Have you ever been in a car accident?
A friend of my cousin managed to drive a group of us into a tree. It was all quite exciting: the engine went bang as we leapt out, like we were in a film or something.
Croutons or bacon bits?
Um... As a lapsed vegetarian I think I'll try to be good and say croutons.
What is your favourite day of the week?
Wednesday is a good word, and when I get through it I know that the next weekend is nearer than the last.
What is your favourite restaurant?
I've been visiting a lot of restaurants in Sheffield recently, and there are too many variables to make it a fair contest, but for value, range, atmosphere and food it has to be a Vietnamese place called Pho 68.
Do you have any siblings?
A dead dog. He's still with me in my dreams.
What's your favourite day of the year?
Quite possibly the day of the Eurovision Song Contest...
What was your favourite toy as a child?
Lego.
Summer or winter?
I like both, but summer gets too hot for me and I get all sweaty and feel horrible. I like that struggle to get warm and cosy of a winter's night.
What's your favourite advertisement?
For many years I had fond memories of a Carling Black Label TV advert that invaded two other ads, but in hindsight it is less appealing. I think I'd have to turn to print for my favourite ad, and here I am spoilt for choice. There's a great one for immunisation with a crying baby, but I've always found this 1940s ad for Copley's knitting wools and rayon yarns a real joy:
Anyone for tennis?
What are you thinking about?
I'm thinking about my answer to this question. When I'm in bed, that's when I think about other things. I'm currently working out some finer points of that never-to-be-finished novel.
Have you met someone new in the last 24 hours?
Only strangers.
When did you last clean your room?
I am currently part-way through a big tidy-up.
When did you last drive a car?
A real car: in my early teens in a driving lesson with my dad on an airfield in Lincolnshire. A virtual car: over three years ago, now. The steering wheel is very dusty.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Somewhere between eight and nine. I like at least eight.
Do you believe in God?
Not in any interventional sense.
Do you believe in Yourself?
I think therefore I might as well be.
Do you believe in Santa Claus?
Father Christmas had different handwriting to my parents.
Do you believe in destiny/fate?
I believe in coincidence, which I find is just as compelling.
Do you believe in ghosts?
Not in a conventional sense, but my dog once behaved in a weird way around some bits of crashed aeroplane. There's so many great stories but so little compelling evidence; I'll believe in them when I see one.
When do you cry the most?
At films. Bloody manipulative things, films.
Who do you go to for advice?
Usually myself. If that doesn't work, I go to my friends.
Hugs or kisses?
I love to be hugged.
Coffee or tea?
Strong coffee or novelty tea: chai takes some beating, and I have some rather delicious black forest gateau tea which never fails to cheer me up.
Chocolate or vanilla?
Vanilla is one of the greatest flavours in the world. Vanilla Coke was one of the best drinks I've ever had the pleasure of putting in my mouth. Chocolate is wonderful stuff too, especially when cut with milk and particularly with the addition of sugar and nuts, or even chilli. I suspect that here, however, the toss up relates to this alternative next question:
Favourite ice cream?
I love anything fruity and a bit alcoholic. Orange Cointreau, for instance.
Red or white wine?
I like a good red but I can only drink so much of it and not regret it the next day. Consequently I tend to stick to white on nights out, but I'll have red with a meal or late of an evening.
What is your favourite type of beer?
Few things beat a good rich porter or stout.
Cider or Perry?
The best I had of either was a blend of both. I wouldn't mind one right now, in fact.
How are you today?
Not bad, thanks. The sudden heat's been making me melt a bit, but it feels wrong to complain.
When was the last time you cried?
Last weekend.
What is on the floor of your closet?
Clothes.
What is under your bed?
My video collection, my old Barbie dolls and Transformers, assorted plastic bags and some spare electronic components.
What friend have you had the longest?
I still go drinking with a friend from secondary school about once a week.
What did you do last night?
I was sorting out my wardrobe, and then working on a new texture for my latest ship in Oolite.
What's your favourite smell?
The diesel engine of a narrow-boat as it rises in a lock.
What inspires you?
Dreams, stories, and other people.
What are you afraid of?
Getting things wrong.
Which celebrities do you idolize?
In addition to the aforementioned Philbin et al, Ida Lupino is probably up there, though I'm not really one for idolatry of this nature.
Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?
I like the idea of a spicy cheeseburger. Especially if that cheese is blue.
What's your favorite car?
I always liked the Lamborghini Countach, mainly because it looked like a spaceship.
A Countach prepares for take-off.
Salty or sweet?
I did too much sugar as a youth, and sort of went off it a bit when I got to university. I'm now rather savoury-minded, though I still like a finely crafted bit of sweet now and again.
How many keys are on your ring?
Four, I think. Let me check... no, six.
How many towns have you lived in?
Four. Definitely four this time.
Do you make friends easily?
I'm quite shy and pathetic, but fairly good at gathering acquaintances. Keeping them when we move apart, or developing them into friends; these are areas where I'm less successful, I think. I'm a terrible networker because I'm unassuming to the point of taciturn, and get nervous about making a nuisance of myself. I'm also easily distracted.
What is a date on the calendar that you are looking forward to?
I'm very much looking forward to Saturday: Library Camp and Eurovision!
What was the last thing you ate?
Quorn fillets, chips, beans and gravy, with a slice of granary bread and butter.
Do you wish on stars?
No. I'm not sure I ever have. Maybe that's where I've been going wrong. I do like gazing upwards in awe at them though.
If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?
My most prized crayon was "Maize" because I liked the name. But I'd like to think I'm more a glittery purple.
How is the weather right now?
Hot. Suddenly if not unseasonably hot.
Where is the furthest you have ever been from home?
Lisbon.
Name a small thing you really enjoy?
Heh. My head is suddenly filled with naughty thoughts. How about Islay whisky?
What is your favourite book?
The House at Pooh Corner.
What thing about yourself are you most proud?
My left tit, and my breadth of interests.
What is your favourite album?
God Bless Tiny Tim.
What is your favourite song?
"Ever Since You Told Me That You Love Me (I'm a Nut)" - Tiny Tim
Oh, Tiny...
What is your favourite classical work?
Mahler 2.
What makes you cringe?
Cross-purposes.
If you could do anything, what would you do?
Change the hand I was dealt, or even the whole game.
Where have you been that you will visit again?
Many places. Too many to list in a worthwhile manner.
Where have you been that you will never visit again?
I'd like to avoid Digbeth Bus Station if at all possible. And I don't ever want to spend the night in Leeds city centre again. On a sadder note, there are those places I would like to revisit but never shall, like past homes, old haunts long changed or demolished, and most of all the aforementioned Pets Corner from the perspective of a child.
What is your favourite film?
Citizen Kane, but that's a boring answer, so I usually say Black Narcissus, Celine & Julie Go Boating, or Watership Down, depending on how playful I feel.
Disney or Warner Brothers?
The latter, and particularly Roadrunner.
Favourite fast food restaurant?
Efes Pizza in York.
What colour is your bedroom carpet?
Black with green and yellow leaves.
How many times did you take your drivers test?
None.
From whom did you get your last email?
Jon Snow.
From whom did you get your last text message?
My dad.
From whom did you get your last phone call?
My dad.
Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
I would not choose to max out my credit card unless it were being paid off by some wealthy benefactor, in which case: some wonderful second-hand emporium like the Kemptown Trading Post in Brighton.
What do you do most often when you are bored?
I am never bored. I make up little games if needs be. The rules to the washing-up game are too elaborate to relate here.
When's bedtime?
Depends on getting-up time. Ideally about 3am.
Who's the last person with whom you went to dinner?
Some of these questions are very silly, and belie their American origins. I have never been in a Chevrolet, while one of my favourite car designs is the Ford Capri, so I'll say Ford.
What are you listening to right now?
The sound of the computer fan and twittering birds in the garden.
What music is in your head right now?
"Di Quella Pira" from Il Trovatore.
Alarum!
Lake, Ocean or River?
Canal.
Who makes you laugh?
Many people. Stewart Lee was the last stand-up gig I attended, and he is certainly high in the list.
How many tattoos do you have?
None, yet. I'm a bit tentative about how to go about it. But it's something I intend to do when I finally settle on what I want done.
What are you going to do tomorrow?
Tomorrow I need to buy some fish-food, I shall try to continue my bag-hunt, I shall go to work, I shall come home, and I shall tidy up. Oh yes. I shall tidy up. Mark my words.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Evolutionary theory would rather suggest that the egg pre-dates the chicken.
How many people have you made smile today?
Oooh... um... dunno. About 20? That's a hard one to calculate.
When you look at the world, what do you see?
From this perspective I see a room full of books, musical instruments, hi-fi equipment and computery stuff. Beyond the window I see all sorts of levels of life getting on with existing and occasionally looking around and thinking: this place isn't bad really; why do we make it such hard work for ourselves?
Cats or dogs?
My dog was a very catty sort of dog and I loved him for it.
Good or bad?
That's just silly.
What material object would you ask for if you had one wish to make?
My own home on my own land and to my own plans.
Next planned vacation?
Nothing lined up.
What is something people probably don't know about you?
My middle name?
What time did you finish this bloody rigmarole?
It's now about 8pm the next day, and I'm still dusting off the formatting and adding some illustrations before I come to posting. I hope you've enjoyed this silly playground nonsense. Join me again next week when I'll be making one of those folded paper fortune teller things to determine the colour of your underwear!
